I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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