Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
