If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She needs sedatives and a leash
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They have beer where we have blood.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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