you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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