I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
