Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize