Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
a search helicopter?!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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