your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize