Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
