Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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