i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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