I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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