this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I AM VODKA MAN
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
