This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Vodka?
Forever.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
