We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
