hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
