If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
