What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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