Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
