So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize