I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
