why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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