I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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