Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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