maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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