I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize