question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
