Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
