OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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