Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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