Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
