I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
