Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
