I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
