yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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