So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
