These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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