ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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