Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We left the knife in your bed.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
