Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
