I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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