she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Terrible idea I love it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I currently don't understand fingers.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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