So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
And then my night got REAL pukey
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
