i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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