that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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