just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
