I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
