If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so let's talk penis.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
