Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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