i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
