where does the pee come out of this thing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
