he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
