He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
