i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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