I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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