btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
