I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
