What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
